try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize