Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize