So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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