can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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