3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
