playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize