He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
what day is it and did you see me today?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
