I swear she didn't look like that last week.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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