Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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