The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
