Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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