i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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