i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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