Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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