Dual....:-)
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
