When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
