To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize