How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
