Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
