All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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