Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
