When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
