you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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