He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
