About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
