He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you would pick up someone in the library
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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