i would punch a child for taco bell
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
