i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
