Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
