and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think people are normalizing furries
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
