also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
