Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
