so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
