It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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