Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
