in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
