I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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