Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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