First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm at about main and main street
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
