sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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