i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
