Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
