rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Will exercising make me less horny?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
