btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
