So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
