3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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