The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
