I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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