well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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