Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
