Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize