I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
