I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We need a shit load of segways right now
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
