I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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