ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
