I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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