i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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