Having a random hookup so left but love u
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
