I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
