I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
