I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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